‘Dating While Gray’ podcast offers stories, advice for finding love after 50

People older than 50 are looking for love, and there’s a podcast to help them. It’s called “Dating While Gray: The Grown-Up’s Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships.” Laura Stassi is the show’s creator and host.

VPM News Morning Edition host Phil Liles spoke with her about finding love later in life.

The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Phil Liles: Laura, why did you start the “Dating While Gray” podcast?

Laura Stassi: Well, it was kind of serendipitously. I had gone through what researchers call a “gray divorce.” I was married for almost 30 years, and then my marriage ended. Once the dust had settled, I wanted to know how people my age were finding new romantic partners. And I would ask people … my main focus was, “How did you two meet?” — which is kind of like the million-dollar question that everybody wants to know.

Then once I started talking to people about how they were meeting, I was finding out that there were other issues associated with it. It’s not just how two people meet, but then how do they blend their lives? Because when you’re older, each person has a full, complete life they’ve already lived. There are issues surrounding money, grown kids, living arrangements … And so I started tapping experts to talk about some of those issues. We started in 2020.

As we released episodes of the podcast, people started emailing. People started calling. I mean, we seriously struck a nerve, and I’ve just kept going ever since.

Tell me a little bit about some of the topics from the podcast. 

My tagline is “The Grown-Up’s Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships,” and the mission of “Dating While Gray” is to help older people find and keep new romantic relationships for the later years of life. When I say “keep them,” that means “keep” however you want to keep them. The goal for everybody is not “and they lived happily ever after.” I think that’s why a lot of my audience kind of cringed at “The Golden Bachelor” — in that it was a fairytale.

We’re not doubting that two people can fall in love quickly. I mean, we’ve all experienced it. There’s something that happens when you’re older and new love comes into your life … you can act and feel like a teenager again. But what we all kind of cringed at is: They immediately went to marriage. Not everybody wants to do that.

We talk about “Hey, there are different ways …” Living apart together— it’s a trend. So, “Can you be a committed couple and not live together?” Why yes, you can. You can custom-build your commitment any way you want to.

There’s nothing wrong with being single. There’s nothing wrong with not looking for a romantic partner. The most important thing is that we have healthy relationships in our lives. They need not be romantic ones. If you want romantic love, I think the thing I want to leave everybody with is: It’s not too late. It’s never too late for love.

And your podcast is open to men, women, the LGBTQ+ community.

Absolutely. It does not matter who you’re looking for. What you’re looking for. And I have to say, I’ve also had some emails from millennials and Gen Z, and they’re saying, “Hey, I found your podcast because I want to help my mom.” Or “I want to help my dad.” Or “My parents just split up, and what does that mean for me? And so I found your podcast, and it’s sort of helping me navigate the terrain as a younger person whose parents are now dating.”